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    2024



  • how to stop feeling empty? i guess this is a result of me putting off my moving preparation. i have too much plastic wastes in my room and i don't know what to do with it. i know the only thing to do was to throw it away, but it's just disheartening to know it will be piled onto the landfill, burned and turned into greenhouse gas.

    i wanted to finish at least a track before moving out of here. i also had to catch up with learning because previous work has not taught me anything and even primed me to use terrible practices. frankly i'm afraid that this is all a huge mistake and the branch manager of my new job would find out on our next meeting. we still have not determine which client i will be placed in.



  • i don't know what came to me, but i wasted 6 hours playing gta iv, stopping after the weird dude who demands you to kill everyone killed me. i was playing dragon's dogma like crazy prior to playing gta iv, and i can't believe that was the one people called "janky" instead of the latter where the way the character walks feels so clunky.

    this apparently was the "cut-off" game where people still use old phones and go to cafes to browse internet. although i don't think the core activities was that different from the modern gta v.

  • 2023



  • I know I have to contemplate from time to time on how I am doing at the moment. I keep on dragging and dragging it, and this is exactly the problem that I'm trying to get out from - I let life drag me wherever it wants.

    By the time I realize, it's already half a year since I live in this town. While my current workplace provides a huge mental space for me to breathe, most of the time it feels too lax for my liking and I'm not growing as much as I want to. The places I've been was either too demanding or too loose. I wonder if I'm asking too much by wanting a place that could balance those.

    I'm working on my mini album (EP? Single?) at the moment. After August, I will actively search for new places to apply to. I might move out before my contract ends, which sucks, but perhaps worth the price.

    ===

    My friend Musini recently recommended me the webtoon Like Mother, Like Daughter by YIDAHM. The end of season 2 blew my mind. If you like the twist in the game Virtue's Last Reward, you probably will enjoy this as much as I do.

  • 2022



  • I landed a job out of town and had to move before the year ends. I am currently staying in the house that my grandma used to live in. We are still unsure if commuting is viable from this place or whether if I should rent a room near the workplace.

    Well, I am still unsure if I'm making the right choice in accepting this job. Honestly, I am just hoping that the change of environment will be good for my general wellbeing.

    Anyway, I beat Ys Origin on Normal yesterday. The lore of Ys land was pretty fascinating.



  • From now on I will try writing here, instead of doing god knows whatever I'm usually doing...

    When I skip out working on something, I will make an excuse to myself by blaming how weird my right wrist has been recently. Since I've been practicing piano again after a while, the wrist also began to constantly hurting. Now I need to be very, very careful and conscious of my right hand. I keep it from straining even a little bit. I changed my mouse to a vertical one, and I rest it in a natural position every few minutes. By natural position, I mean I cannot keep it bent horizontally like when I type or playing the keyboard for too long. It took me a good while to find out that that was the reason it starts to hurt.

    Not being able to use my right wrist had been a huge discomfort for me, so I cannot for my life imagine what if some other part of me is suddenly paralyzed or something. You really always take things for granted...